The last 48 hours have been very interesting for Star Wars fans as we learned that the directing duo of Phil Lord and Chris Miller left the still-filming project over the popular industry reasons of ‘creative differences’ (read: they were fired).
A collective lowering of expectations could be felt through the entire SW fandom as we all prepared ourselves to simply hope for the best of the brewing bad situation that is going to be the next stand-alone Star Wars film adventure.
That is until rumors immediately kicked up that Ron Howard had taken meetings with Lucasfilm about picking up the project. The possibility of this seemed so far fetched because of the simple fact that it felt like fictional wish fulfillment rather than real life. There’s no way that this was an actual possibility.
Dudes. Dudettes. Ron Howard has taken the helm of the untitled Han Solo Star Wars movie.
And while this sudden and strange story has been heavily reported and accounted everywhere else on the internet and fanboy circles, we here at Comic Black Book have the inside scoop! That’s right! What follows is an account of what happened in that meeting with Lucasfilm head honcho, Kathleen Kennedy and Ron Howard.
*Kathleen readjusts herself in her chair and also straightens the necklace of severed ears from past directors. Are they still alive, walking around with the constant reminder of their disobedience on show? Or no longer on this mortal coil? We may never know*
She clicks the intercom.
“Show Ron in, please.”
*Ron Howard giddily strides in to the room with his trademark ballcap and boyish enthusiasm. He has completed his look with a 3 quarter length neon fireman’s jacket complete with Johnny Depp’s entire line of designer scarves wrapped around his neck and cowboy spurs on his loafers*
Kathleen Kennedy- “Ah yes. I see it’s true. You can truly pull off anything.”
Ron- “It’s why you called me.”
Kathleen- “I’ll level with you. This is your biggest challenge yet. We’re ¾ of the way through principle photography. I might be able to buy you an extra week in reshoots. Two, tops.”
*Ron puts his feet up on Kathleen’s desk, firmly digging the loafer spur hybrid monstrosities into the exotic, endangered wood it’s made from and throws his arms back behind his head where they cross*
Ron Howard- “Han is Fonzie. Chewie is Potsie. And I’m going to give the Falcon so many problems, Hanks will be begging me for an Apollo 13 sequel out of jealousy. Based on factual events be damned. I got this shit. This shit is easy.”
Kathleen Kennedy- “Wait. That’s going to be your take? …of course. It’s so simple…
Ron Howard- “One condition. I want Warwick to play at least 5 other prominent parts in the film. More if possible. He’s the ace in the hole to make this all work. Or to have a fall guy to pin it all on if it doesn’t.”
*Kathleen gently caresses one of the ears on her necklace*
Kathleen Kennedy- “That’s smart. Ruthless, but smart. It is done. Don’t fail me… Director.”
We’ll all find out together if this works or not when the Han Solo film drops May 2018